Bueno... pues nada....

These past week getting ready to leave Spain has been a rollercoaster. I have a few leads on apartments, one that I LOVE. I have also seen some horrors. I really hope one in particular works out... it is on an adorable street, it is in a PERFECT location for me AND it would be with 3 Spanish universty students ie built in conversacion practice! If that doesn't work out though I have a few other options. I have also made a freind during the apartment-hunting process. She is an English teacher as well, at another school, next to mine, in Dos Hermanas. So that is awesome.

Bump in the psychy/emotional road today... I went to the delegacion today with Noelia to look into switching schools and I was polietely told to go take a flying leap. I KNEW that this was probably gong to be the case, that I was going to have to stay in orippo,and that they probably weren't going to care. But just being confronted with the fact that I will be in Orripo, alone, and that my only other option is to forget the whole damn thing and go home was upsetting. And THEN for the lady to be like in the office to be like "tu no preocupes, si tengas una problema el curso que viene, my llamas." I literally was like "ummm..... TENGO PROBLEMAS, me lo SE come es.... estoy aqui AHORA." and that lady knew the orippo situation perfectly well.

so basically the answer was: sorry. you don't like it, GO HOME. tough shit. y esta.

SO. I don't know... I mean I have been prepping myself for exactly this, I know it is only 12 hours a week, then I will have the universty, my private classes, I have some freinds here, I can travel, I want acheive my goal and finally get fluent in spanish and I feel like if I leave now and don't do another year, I won't ever get there. Plus now there is the possibilty of this fabuluos apartment, with young fun-seeming SPANISH SPEAKING roomates... I don't want to go home. I mean I DO, NOW, but you know what I mean. It just was a slap in the face. I'm like, oh by the way, you are fucking welcome spain for teaching your underprivalged dilinquent youth. Even though I am furstrated and more than a little nervous for next year, this hasn't changed my mind. I still want to come back next year. It just SUCKS. I feel like as far as the school hours go, I am going to ALONE and it is going to SUCK and I am going to have NO support. But perhaps all of this will be worth the other 146 hours a week. I don't know. The only thing I can do it wait and see.

I went shopping on the way home... probably a mistake... and I cooled off. It is going to be what it is. I know what am getting into. I have my options and I am chosing to stay.

I feel this illustration says it all: